Words to Heal You, Words to Give You Life
Traveling the world opened my eyes to the grace of God upon my life. Every time I stepped into the darkness of the unknown, not knowing what will happen tomorrow, God stepped in and unfolded miracles before my eyes. With time I started to trust God more and rely less on myself.
But things haven’t always been this way. I’ve crawled through depression for a few years and envy disfigured my being. I suppressed my anger and turned it against me. I’ve hurt people I didn’t want to hurt, abandoned friends and brought tears in the eyes of dear ones. As guilt deepened and the darkness within grew darker, I tried psychological techniques and meditations but nothing worked. I was crumbling under my pain, when one morning in Hawaii, with the first rays of the sun rising from the ocean, I closed my eyes and prayed for the first time in sincerity and truth:
“God, I do not know You but I want to.
Some people say I have sins that will never be forgiven.
Some say I cannot come before You as dirty as I am.
Some say You don’t even exist. Here’s what I say, Father.
You know my past, You know my mistakes, You know my fear and my pain.
I do not know Your plans for me. I cannot change the past and what I’ve done wrong.
When the time comes, You decide what You do with me because You hold the power over all things.
However, Father, there is one thing that is not in Your power to do, but in mine.
In this moment I have made a decision and there’s nothing You can do about it.
The choice for me to love You is not Yours. The choice for me to love You with all my heart is mine.
From today and in every moment, I come before You just as I am,
Naked, broken, hurt and lost,
With nothing in my hands to give You,
I come before You giving You my love.
I come before You Father, not to ask and take,
But to love You more each day and give.
What is on Your mind?
What is on Your heart?
I am not a beggar, I am Your servant and Your son.
I ask for nothing,
but just to do Your will.
Although I am grateful for your miracles and gifts,
Today I seek not the gifts, but I seek You – the giver of all gifts.
I love not what You give me, Father,
but I love You, the one who’s always given me.”
Prayer is not a technique. True prayer doesn’t require a special breathing methodology or a difficult sitting position. Prayer is you talking to God in spirit and in truth. This conversation I had with God early before dawn changed my life. As I walked out of my room, peace flooded my soul. My mind found rest for the first time in years, and my broken heart was gently made whole. I understood for the first time Heaven is reached with empty hands and open hearts.